It seems like you can’t turn on the TV without hearing about cheating — even if the couple were so-called “loves of their lives.” With that in mind, and a social-media fueled world where everyone’s looking at the hottest new person, can monogamy actually work?
The rates of cheating haven’t changed much over the years. Although studies vary, research has shown that almost 60% of men and over 45% of women will cheat at some point in their marriages. Affairs affect 1 out of every 2.7 couples, which is almost one third of all of all people.
Most people grow up striving for great monogamous relationships. But some people think that human beings just aren’t built for long, faithful lives. So, with that in mind, we turned to a few experts to get answers.
This first video features best-selling authors and relationship experts, Charles Jr Orlando and Lisa Steadman, discussing the topic.
The statistics can seem depressing for couples wanting a monogamous relationship. Indeed, studies show almost 50% of married people get divorced. It’s believed that many of these marriages end because of infidelity. Does this mean that we are not committed to monogamy?
In another video from YourTango, we get another perspective. There has been some talk that monogamy is impossible but Dr. Helen Fisher says otherwise. This panel discusses monogamy and how to keep from cheating.
Finally, in a YourTango “Ask the Expert” section, Dr. Tammy Nelson discusses the practicality of monogamy. Can monogamy work, and is escaping infidelity really possible in a longterm relationship?
As with all things involving relationships, it’s dependent on the two (or more) involved. With that in mind, Rewire.org posed this question to its readers: “If you’re in an exclusive, monogamous relationship, ask yourself why. Is it because you love your person and want to be only with them? That’s the ideal. But, more and more, researchers are exploring the reasons the vast majority of couples choose to be exclusive. Is it because monogamy is right for most people, or because monogamy is often presented in our culture as the only acceptable option?”
While there is no hard and easy answer, perhaps these questions — discussed among adults in relationships — can help them decide what’s right now them.