Love is blind…
It's a statement we often hear, the trouble is that it doesn't last forever. We all eventually wake up and realize we've been with the wrong person. So how do you spot that situation before losing precious time? With the help of some relationship experts, we have identified five key signs to look for in a “loser.”
1. Gainfully Unemployed with No Savings in the Bank
Romance tends to only go so far in the world of relationships. Once the buzz wears off, things like bank accounts and money contributions become hugely important.
According to renowned psychotherapist Olivia Mellan, money drives more couples apart than sex. While money isn’t everything, it is extremely important that you consider future troubles that can result via financial inequality. If your partner's money woes are coupled with lack of ambition in general, definitely consider running for the local hills.
2. Lives at Home with His Parents
Unless a parent is sick or impaired and desperately needing help to survive, you may want to flee. I say “may want to flee” for one simple reason: Maybe your potential partner is saving up for a house and putting aside every penny. However, if he or she is a full-blown adult sitting around watching TV while mom does the laundry and fixes dinner, you may want to give the situation tons of thought.
3. Slob Nation
People often associate this with men, but it applies to women as well. Marriage and family therapist Tina Tessina of Long Beach, Calif. revealed to NBC’s Today that a whopping one in three couples she works with struggle with cleanliness issues. “It’s a big issue especially with new couples,” said Tessina.
“Cleanliness is next to godliness,” once observed an ancient sage. The wisdom behind this simple phrase is that a man (or woman) who lives in a world of filth and disorganization is usually the possessor of a fragmented and undisciplined mind. So while slovenly behavior may be charmingly cute in the beginning, when you’re picking up dirty clothes off the floor and continuously cleaning grimy dishes left in the sink, you may find yourself ready to explode.
4. Negative and Demeaning
Your self-worth is without a doubt THE most important part of your being. There is never a good reason for someone you love and adore to make you feel worthless.
In her PsychCentral article, Marie Hartwell-Walker notes that initially amazing connections can turn into abusive situations. When this happens, the partner being verbally attacked constantly hopes the loving-being they fell in love with will return. The longer the two of you stay together, the worse the abuse may become.
Life is so very short. Seek a partner that lifts you up and inspires you to go for your dreams.
5. Isolates and Controls You
If you ever find yourself staring in the mirror and suddenly realize you're only a fraction of the person you used to be, your partner may stifling your authenticity. Pay close attention to whether he or she constantly tries to isolate you and deter you from connecting with friends, family, and new experiences.
Your ideal partner should absolutely love who you are and encourage you to spread your wings.
There are numerous other factors to consider when deciding whether to run or stay for the long-haul. If you’re confused, make a full list of the qualities you are seeking and where you plan to take life. Dare to move on if your current prospect doesn’t fit your needs.
You only live once! Don’t buy into the logic that you’ll never find another partner. Know what you want, be patient, and your best partner just may arrive with bells on.